Poor green eyed Spike

[charmax]

Today was a very sad day. The stray cat (Spike) me and Max have been feeding had to be put to sleep. The past few weeks we have watched her health slowly deteriorate and yesterday we noticed her stomach had ballooned in size. For a while we were thinking she might be ill but this stomach swelling really just developed in a matter of 2-3 days. Her breathing was weak too. We didn’t know this cat very long but in just this short time we had begun to bond with her, every time we opened the front door she was there with her big green eyes staring back at us, purring and asking for food. It is just so sad; she was such a sweet little cat.  What I think upsets me the most is not only that she was seriously ill but nobody was taking care of her, loving her. We were feeding her the past couple of weeks but what about before then? She wasn’t being cared for, her last few months was not in comfort.  I feel guilty because what if we had taken her in sooner? I know now there was nothing we could have done to change this outcome but we could have made her life a little happier. Did we do the right thing by taking her to the vets now? These questions are really aimed at myself. The sensible grown up part of me knows this was right and the kindest thing to do it just hurts when you have to make that decision. What has happened with Spike is now leaving a painful question - do we get Buff looked at? We don’t know where Spike originally lived but we’ve had our suspicions that Buff has come from the same home. All the clues point to that. The thought of taking Buff to the vet and then being told he too has leukaemia is ripping my heart out. Just the thought of it is too much. We love him to pieces, he is our third baby.  All three of the cats are more than just pets they are like children, part of the family and the thought of losing any of them is just agony.
Fortunately Buff is making steady progress he is putting on weight, eating and drinking copiously, he is happy and he doesn’t seem to be ill. But the question is still there – he is content and happy now but what if he does have Leukaemia any symptoms might not show for a while. But then knowing, is that a good thing? If he does have this illness they cannot cure him.  It is all leaving a heavy weight in my stomach I can’t sleep thinking about poor sad Spike and our Buff. I guess me and Max are going to have to do some serious talking.

I think I am going to have to try and get some rest, even if I don’t sleep I need to lay down and relax it’s another early rise tomorrow. I want to thank  sandy_s  colour_me_sassy astartexx and dualbunny for leaving comments on my last wallpaper. <3 I'll catch up with ou all soon. Hugs.

Comments

[dualbunny.livejournal.com]

::big hugs::

We can't save them all, right? That's what I work very hard with understanding. I know you did make that little girl's life a bit brighter, even if it was at the end. I'm sure she appreciated it. Sometimes that's all we get to manage. Same goes for Buff--try not to let the thought of losing him cast a pall over the time you have now to love on him. It's all incurable eventually, y'know? ::tiny crooked smile:: Just have to do our very best to enjoy the always too short time that we do get.

Just rambling to repeat most of this myself I think. At the first sign of trouble I lose it with the best of 'em, but maybe if I can remember this stuff enough when things are good, I won't be quite so lost when they aren't. ::more hugs::

[charmax.livejournal.com]

I know I did the right thing for her and I know I could not have continued to watch her fading away and being in obvious pain. She deserved better than that. As for Buff I have made a conscious decision to not worry about him any more than usual. Of course what my subconscious does is a different matter.
Thanks Dualbunny *hugs*